Being imperfect,that's me

2011-06-16T00:16:00.027+08:00

Hellohello,it's a pretty good day today. (:

Met the three girls this morning at around...930 ? Well,yy came at 10 plus.

Had mac for breakfast,didn't manage to finish,as usual. :/ actually,i hardly finish any of my meals these days. :(

trained to northpoint after that for a good 4 hours of singing. :D

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Headed to woodlands checkpoint to get my shoes. (:

Had takoyaki for a...snack.Ate 4 & then I became really full already. ._.

Bought my shoes & then took the bus back to causeway & went to manhatten's fish market to look for felix,renjie,nic,shijie & zhanyu. (:

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Reached back home around...8 plus ?

Ah,not much to blog anymore.

Ohya ! There's an eclipse later on,around 1am till 5am ? Heh. (:

Am totally gonna sleep through the whole eclispe saga cause I'm really tired. x.x &,I have to wake up at 7 for work's hygiene course tomorrow.

HOW TO SURVIVE.

So..good night world.

Gonna oovoo for awhile more & then go off to bed. :D

2011-06-15T02:51:00.023+08:00

Happy with life. (:

Work today for 8 hours,really tired & unwell almost throughout. :(

& well...today was considered a bad day at work ? i guess so.

Not bad for me,just...bad for my workplace. :/

Got complained by a customer about the quality of the rice bowl.Like seriously ? Why make a mountain out of a molehole when the rest of the customers have no complaints ?

& because of this one customer,the whole saga lasted for over an hour. ._. With the office people coming in & checking on us.

But yeah,I enjoyed work,overall.

The closeness i experienced with my colleagues.Heh. :D Like one big family. (:

Upcoming events:

Wednesday: Going out with the girls in....6 hours & 25 mins time. Heehee,cause I'm meeting them at 930 in the morning for mac breakfast. <3 Then maybe dinner with kor & the rest. (:

Thursday: Hygiene course for work from 9am to 6pm. God,help me survive.Keep me awake for that..9 hours. :/

Friday: Hopefully pool in the morning/afternoon with class people followed by 4e1's bbq. (: at denson's house !

Saturday-sunday:Chalet stayover & bbq with dearest family. (:

Lastly,christina grimmie rocks. :D

Signing off,with lots of love.

ng.szeyong. (:

2011-06-13T21:46:00.023+08:00

Ladybug,ladybug,little red & black. (:

Went out for 4 hours of pool today. (:

With 4e1 people,namely..yongwen,joash,jingshen,leon,jun wei,grace,jocelyn,zhengwen & lilan.

Heh,lady luck was on my side today,won quite a few rounds of pool. :D

& yeah,lost to leon.think he finally got his revenge back cause he keep saying wanting to 1 v 1 with me.

& yes,i think i'm addicted to pool. :( which is not a good thing at all.

Headed to sheng shiong & went "grocery shopping" with them afterwards.

Laughed & talked a lot with them.

But mostly non-productive things though. :/

Ending off with this little rhyme from twitter.

Did you ever fall for someone you know you shouldn't?

Try hard to fight your feelings, but you just couldn't?

You fall deeper with each passing day,

But try to hide it in every possible way.

He's only a friend, and nothing else--

That's the lie you keep telling yourself.

You keep on saying he's just a bud,

But deep inside, you're falling in love.

You get so giddy when you meet his eyes,

But keep reminding yourself it isn't right.

A simple glance turns into a stare,

But you pretend that you don't care.

It's "not right" for you two to be.

Is that why you hide it so no one can see?

But how long will you pretend?

Keep lying that he's just a friend?

Perhaps your feelings you can never show.

Perhaps it's "wrong" for him to know.

Your friendship can't be risked over this,

So being his girl is an impossible wish...

From twitter @BooThatsHowiam

2011-06-12T23:58:00.009+08:00

I MISS MY SMILE. :(

If a girl's silent, it's dangerous. They're either, ~~about to blow up~~, needs a hug, falling apart, crying inside or all of the above.

I don't get angry so easily nowadays,so when I'm quiet,it's the last three that I'm feeling.

2011-06-11T23:21:00.007+08:00

Hello world.

I miss my friends,~~the boy I love~~,my kor & so many other people.

This week has been a bad week,I've been feeling so down almost everyday.

Well,got to find my optimistic self back again.I will,that's my own promise to myself.

Quote of the day: A light heart carries you through all the hard times.

Off to bed then,at least all the pain will go away.

2011-06-09T03:23:00.006+08:00

Hello world.

Time check: 3:23

Dear lord,what am I still doing ? Awake at this timing.

I'm tired like fcuk but I'm struggling to stay awake cause there's still too much to study for PAM that I haven't studied yet.

At one point,yesterday,I almost gave up the idea of studying for PAM cause it was just too exhausting.& when I said there's too many things to study,there really is.

It's just slideshow after slideshow after slideshow,not even talking about the main point.

Anyways,I just came here to rant.

I'm done ranting,& it's 3:27 now.

Dang,there goes 4 minutes of my time. :(

2011-05-15T21:47:00.016+08:00

Hello people out there ! (:

Had an awesome saturday with the lovely people up there in the photo & with my family. :D

Well,went to clementi woods park with jan,jiao min & pearl around 11 plus yesterday ?

Was kinda disappointed by the park though.I mean,it was really bare & all.

The flowers that which were actually flowering weren't colourful or attractive at all. & because of the rain at around 10 plus in the morning,the ground was kinda,irksome ? Muddy,etc. :(

But we changed our project outing to a fun outing,which really went off from the point of doing the project but still..

Did lots of jumpshots & became camwhores for the day. :D

Was awesome & memorable.Haha. (: I've loads of photos for that day already !

hehe,I like the photo above,although it varies from my usual face. :>

anyways,rushed down to clementi & met my extended family for dinner.

Went for sushi tei. :D hehe,awesome cause aunty let me choose what we'll be having for dinner since she liked my quote a lot. (: See,being wordy is good !

Dinner made me really full. :/

But really really nice though. :D

Alright,shall stop here for now,cause I've got to bath & then continue on mugging for my taxonomy quiz tomorrow.

Good night & byebye. (:

2011-05-05T23:52:00.006+08:00

Maize & bean pleants. :D

Plant anatomy practical today~

It was fun & super hyper with Jan.Hehe. :D

New-made best friend & crazy partner for anything & anything.

& yes,we've already starting gossiping.which is kinda important cause you've to have a high level of trust in that person to share your gossips with him/her. (:

Hehe,new bean plants.Cause J & YW killed the previous one !

Haha. (:

No la,the previous one died of thirst. :(

The plant & my drawing.I know,it doesn't look the same,but I swear I tried my best okay. :D

& I really like it cause it's cartoonish & all.

Jan said so. :D

Shall post picture of my notebook next time ! I'll put in my very best effort to sktech/draw my practical items well !

Good night,time for bed.God,I'm dying.Poly is ehuasting,to say the least.

2011-05-05T00:02:00.013+08:00

Photography club rocks.& we rock too. :D \m/

Hello earthlies. (: Please pardon my face up there,cause it was a really impromptu shot by chaoya,hence the faces. hehe.

But well,hang around in school today for 5 hours before photography started.wanted to find a place really badly so I could get some sleep but sadly...things happened.

Aww man.sucks.

Well,photography wasn't that bad,I just don't really like the president. :/ but..that isn't a good thing so..yeah.

Made a new friend/senior though,through chaoya. (: Haha,he damn poor thing,he's like,the victim of cy's violence. O.O But,he's a really nice guy,just to clarify~

Ah well,it's late.I should probably be getting to bed but I'm waiting for FT to finish his bath.

His three minutes is like,forever. & yes,i'm just kidding. ^^

Goodnight.Sleep tight.Rest well.Love ya. :D

2011-05-02T23:35:00.010+08:00

Going nuts over you.

I'll end my long weekends & start my week,unofficially with this nutty picture. (:

Hehe,a gift from a friend,& I really like it.

Cause it makes me smileeeeeeee. :D when it goes wobble,wobble,wobble~

Well,hope everyone will have a really great week ahead & for those who're taking papers,good luck (you'll need it !).Exams will be over by this week.

Stay strong,have faith & pull through. (:

Lastly,I really need to get myself to bed cause I have to wake up 5 plus tomorrow.

God,help me survive please.

3 freaking hours of chemistry.

I WILL SURVIVE. :D

Goodnight,y'all.

2011-05-01T02:05:00.007+08:00

All I wanna do is fucking cry my heart out. :(

The night does strange things to the heart,& to the mind.

I've been thinking a lot about..I'm not actually sure what but,a great great sense of disappointment is welling up inside me.

& I need a happy pill.Or at least,someone who doesn't know me that well yet to talk to.

Like F.T.But he's not online.& that sucks.

I want to pour out all my troubles to him like the gigantic waves of a tsunami,but at the same time,I don't want to unload all my problems on him. Ha,how contradicting that is.

Ah well,I'm missing the pool table.It's like a freaking addiction.I wanna play.

& yes,I still wanna cry my heart out. sigh.

2011-04-26T23:08:00.000+08:00

Hello world. (: Quick post now.I'm suddenly overwhelmed by my emotions,mostly happy & a little doubtful of how things will turn out. Will he still remember me ?

&,the feeling of finding back a long-lost friend,or rather,a friend that you have not seen for a long time.The feeling is really..AWESOME yeah. :D:D

Alright,I think i shall head to bed now & immerse in my happy feelings.

I'M A REALLY HAPPY GIRL TODAY. thank god. :D & thank you dear mind or whichever part of me that gave me the strength to keep staring in his direction until he noticed me.

I cannot forget his grin.ohmygoodness,someone save me from this crazy swirly world i'm living in please.

With love,from the girl who's smiling like an idiot. :D:D:D:D:D

2011-04-24T23:00:00.000+08:00

i wanna be,i wanna be,i wanna be a high acheiverrrrrrr~

Hello humans ! I'm on a bit of a high right now so please,do excuse me. :/ The reason for me being on a high is very special.& the reason is...I SINCERELY DO NOT KNOW.yep ! beats me too,why i'm on such a high at the moment but it's a good thing so i'm hoping that this will last for long. :D

Ohya,before i forget,since we're on this topic now,on being high.Right now,right at this very moment,my dreams on being a photographer is at it's highest point in all of my life. & i'm having this strong urge of fulfilling my dreams but,yeah,i know right.hold my high horses,i'm still young,all that stuff.

WHY DOES AGE MATTER SO MUCH ?

This doesn't mean that I don't like the fact that i'm still sixteen,i actually like it a lot,thank you very much. (: I'm just saying,good points versus bad points of being sixteen. A lot of points for each so..yeah,still heavily weighing the pros & cons of each. Giving much thought on it.

Lastly,I WANT TO BE A HIGH ACHIEVER. hehe,i know,that's a high goal but.hey ! "Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon". That's what cindy always says. ;) & yes,i'm gonna try my very best to stick to that now ! I guess,after all that i've been through,work & all that crap,i believed i've matured. & matured well indeed. So,i've set my goals a little higher and my sights a little further. :D

Support me towards my destination okay ! (:

Oh well,that's all for today.Time for me to head to bed now,totally need to bank in on my 6 hours of sleep else i'll be zombie girl in school tomorrow morning.

Good night &,sayonara. (:

2011-04-23T00:07:00.003+08:00

Orientation Week. (:

Hello,humans. (: First official week of school this week,& first official week of classes next week.So,yeah.Pretty enjoyable but,kinda weird too.Shall explain more in my next few...paragraphs ? Read on ! (:

So,monday,met up with joanne,edric & eileen at berth 14 to take NP's shuttle bus to school together.Danny & Junwei came after that but..one lecturer ? (idk,maybe he's a helper) came & scolded them off for cutting the queue,so they ended up taking the public transport to school.& actually ended up in school early than us cause yeah,it started raining pretty heavily along the way to NP.

Walked around NP like some lost kid looking for the school of life sciences & chemical technology.

Finally found the rest of the lsct students & yeah..pretty nervous. :|

Sat there & had a briefing by the lsct lecturers,directors & a skit performance of the lab rules by the lsct students.

The skit was funny & I really enjoyed it. :D

Went off for lunch break after that & managed to make some new friends ! (: Well,lunch was quite weird for me as I had something which looked & tasted like indian food,except that it wasn't as spicy as expected.

After lunch,had briefing by ms kan,related to some classrooms matters.Then we were on the way to a field trip ! Quite surprised,since it was only the first day of school.

Ohya,made a newnew friend,Zhang Qi Rui. (: talk pretty much with her & found that we had similar interests.

Cooking,photography,blahblah.

Finally arrived at hortpark after a half hour bus ride.Second time to hortpark & yes,I still enjoyed myself as much.Too bad the guide who was explaining to us was speaking so softly that yeah,little could be hear unless you stood direcly in front of her.Or by chance,sometimes she'll speak up really loudly but her voice will gradually decrease. :( No idea why's that though.Well,finished the guided tour at 5 but we only really explored a little bit of hortpark. Reached back school at around..530 ?

Rushed up the sidepath all the way to makan place to look for edric,xinen,se shuang,shini & yi heng. Haha,super glad that they were waiting for me to go home together.

Really appreciated it a lot since it's the first day of school & all. :D

Edric left first & while waiting for the bus,saw yu shi & douglas.

Shini & yu shi both wanted to get ice cream milk tea from Koi so..yeah,went to Koi while se shuang left for home frst.
Bought milk tea from Koi,my first time drinking Koi eh ! Not bad really,I like the texture of the drink & the fact that the milk portion is more than the tea portion so it's pretty sweet~ :D

Tuesday,was supposed to go on a south western ridges guided tour thing.Timetable stated that we had to gather at block 83 at 850 so took the 730 shuttle bus with xinen,se shuang & danny.

Sat beside danny & our elbows kept bumping,especially when the bus goes over a hump. ._.

He has a special way of sleeping though ! (: He puts his knees up against the seat before him & sleeps.Special eh ? x.x haha.

Well,reached school at around 805 ? & headed to makan place cause xinen & danny wanted to take breakfast. Left at around 840 cause I needed to walk to block 83.

Reached block 83 & walked all around that area looking for my course mates but found none. :(

Ended up,saw Jerald,saw Qi Rui and we went to lsct's office to call the lecturers but to our horror(or rather,expectation),the bus had already left.Afterall,it was already 920 when we went to the office to call.

& apparently,jeremy didn't found the group too so..we had 3 hours of freedom.

Headed to cca feista & the library with Jerald & Qi Rui.Kept on talking cause we were all so bored & yeah,was a good thing cause we actually got to know more of each other. (:

Joined back the group for lunch.& then went to the library for our knowledge hunt.

Basically,we just stood in front of the computers searching for answers. :| haha.
(:

Wednesday,had Branding Me workshop,combined together with the pharmacy students.So..we were told to write down what we wanted to be branded as. (: To the left,the picture,those words ? That's mineeeeee. :D

haha,i really liked how i drew the camera.cause the idea of drawing the camera was just like.. *snap* got the idea.nice. (:

Specially wore my black work shoes to school that day cause I thought,since we're playing soccer,might as well.I really didn't wanted to get my canvas shoes wet.

Ended up,it started pouring cats & dogs so yeah,watched a movie instead.

"The terminal" it seems.Pretty nice movie.

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After that,dismissed early so went to apply for my bursary thing.

Second time I'm going & queuing for that. ._.

Got kind of irritated by it but..I SAW MY SENIOR !

Actually,he was the one who said he know me first cause he saw my IC. =.=

From karate when I was young but he simply refused to tell me his name.So mean i swear.

He said he'll tell me only after I successfully did the bursary thing but..sigh.Didn't happen.

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THURSDAY.

Last day of orientation,had a briefing in the morning by the course manager.

Really boring & I almost fell asleep. o.o

Then had a brief talk by benjamin,one of the graduates of our course.

After that,had IS/ISDAR talk.sigh,sucks that i don't have hip hop/yoga as a sport to rank. :(

I was really excited that maybe I could choose hip hop but nope.So..dancesports is the next closest thing to it. T.T

Lunch break & toured around the school with seniors after that ! (:

Early dismissal but...went home myself. :(

Sad life I have.haha. ^^

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Friday,friday.

Getting down on friday~

haha.

Anyways,friday's over already as I'm posting this now though.

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Goodbye world.

2011-04-09T02:00:00.000+08:00

I miss my long hair. :(

It's in the growing process now but it feels really slow !

& the quality isn't that good now,sigh.

Dear hair,please grow.

I'll treasure & love you very much if you do ! :D

Its growing thicker but it's not growing longer.

Why ? haha. (:

Oh well,shall leave all this to fate. (:

& dear horrible fringe,please grow nicely.

Well,good night world.

Off to bed now else I'll die horribly at work.

2011-04-05T01:17:00.002+08:00

It's 1am in the morning. But it feels like 2am.
The night is still young. & I shall treasure this,while it lasts. (:
School's starting soon,not really looking forward but...good things are happening !
James is in NP too,kinda comforting to have him in the same school cause we've known each other through work & yeah,all the crazy times at work makes me think I won't feel so..out of place at school.
Somethings are quite confusing at times.

Firstly,H is making me kind of confused. :|
What kind of guy who has a girlfriend tells you that,you have to be someplace where he's gonna be,yet isn't able to provide you the reason for why you have to be there ?
Seriously hope I won't read too much into this & fry my own mind. ._.
It's already frizzled bad enough. :(

& again,I REALLY,SERIOUSLY DO NOT WANT SCHOOL TO START.
sucks ttm that it's starting so soon !
Like,few months just flew past during my working period.
Next sunday will be the forth(?) month since I've started work.
So,yeah.
Shall miss those people terribly when I leave,if I do leave anytime soon.
BIG SIGH.

1:16am now.I took 16 minutes to post a few sentences ?
Absolutely ridiculous.
Well,good night & sweet dreams to whoever is reading this NOW.

2011-03-31T01:57:00.001+08:00

Life isn't easy.

As always,as usual.

This thought has been crossing my mind far too often.

& I've been taking the initiative far too often and always,always regretting it. Why ?

I have no idea.

I texted H with a friendly thought,planning to ask him about his life,SYF,what's happening now.

But when he replied me with such a sarcastic tone,I couldn't take it. I doubt he will really have wanted to know the true reason behind me messaging him. Oh well.

(Chained wrist,yet the freedom of a butterfly.)

What does it mean ?

To me,no matter how limited my freedom is,I can be spiritually free,no one can stop me from doing that.

2011-03-29T11:53:00.000+08:00

How often can someone do all three ?
How often can someone truly achieve happiness ?
Sure,like they all say.
Your happiness is in your own hands.
You can laugh,smile,laugh till you cry,grin like a silly fool or otherwise.
But deep down in your heart,only you truly know if you're happy or not.
So,are you ? (:

But still,keep laughter alive.
Cause laughting is the cheapest medicine,the fastest remedy to troubles.

2011-03-24T11:06:00.000+08:00

;Magnificient pictures

Put your thoughts into words,your dreams,into action.
That's when reality begans.

Too many thoughts in this little mind of mine,it's impossible to put down all of them.
Every other minute,a new thought runs through my mind & very often,I realized that during work,I'm pondering through a lot of things as I work.
Like how drastic the relationship between a few people can be,how much change someone needs before a problem can be fully resolved.
& with all these thoughts already consuming me,I try to push thought of him to the last.
Cause it hurts to care.But it's eating me up,it's killing me.

& sometimes,I stop & wonder.
I feel like sometimes,I just want people to be there.
We all have times of loneliness & lately,it's been getting to me. :(
Where did all the friendly hugs went to ?
The words we used to cherish so much,they're all gone now.
Sigh.

You haven't given me crap,you've given me nothing.
Nothing at all.& that sucks.
What's wrong with me trying to be happy,trying to be myself,~~trying to not fall in love with you~~?
It's not working.Nothing's working out.
My imagination is still working overtime. While reality,it's just that emptiness.
There's a void between us.

I've dreamt,many a times,of a moment like this.

But it won't be soon.

Maybe in the near future,who knows ?

All I know is,I will wait,patiently.
One day,he will come for me.
Love will find its way,I believe.

;Your heart is a muscle,& what do muscles do when they're torn ?

They grow back STRONGER.

Thank you dear heart,for being there all the time.

I'm sorry for all the times you got hurt,cause the hurt you felt,I feel it too. :(

Thank you for being stronger than ever,so I won't get hurt so easily the next time round.

I know,you've got plenty of scars on you,because of me.

Weird things make me a weird person.
A hapy person I'm trying to be,albeit a weird one. :)

Thank you J for being there,for sensing when I'm unhappy & all.
& all the concerns about me.

Thank you Joesis for listening to all my rants.
About everything,basically.

It's a simple wish,ain't it ?
& it's pretty much all I want.
I don't wish to be an unhappy person,as much as everyone else wishes that they're not too.

that's all. (:

Then I won't have to be a silly fool,guessing & guessing of a outcome that won't happen at all.

Or the worst case scenarios that scare me.

I imagine the worst so that when the worst happens,it doesn't seem that scary anymore.

;every smile

Every smile,every laughter from me,who really knows whether is it the truth or is it faked ?

No one really does,sometimes,not even I know.

I say I'm fine,cause I know I have to be strong for myself & the people around me.

I know that I can't be weak cause it'll hurt too much.

I'll be strong,be fine & be happy.

No worries. ;)

Love,to the world.

& to you.

2011-03-15T10:46:00.000+08:00

;love is something fragile

Her hair was up in a ponytail

Her favorite dress tied with a bow

Today was Daddy's Day at school

And she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her,

That she probably should stay home.

Why the kids might not understand,

If she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid;

She knew just what to say.

What to tell her classmates

Of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried,

For her to face this day alone.

And that was why once again,

She tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school,

Eager to tell them all.

About a dad she never sees,

A dad who never calls.

There were daddies along the wall in back,

For everyone to meet

Children squirming impatently,

Anxious in their seats.

One by one the teacher called,

Each student from the class.

To introduce their daddy,

As seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name,

Every child turned to stare.

Each of them was searching,

For a man who wasn't there.

"Where's her daddy at?"

She heard a boy call out.

"She probably doesn't have one"

Another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back,

She heard a daddy say,

"Looks like another deadbeat dad,

Too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offened her,

As she smiled up at her mom.

And looked back at her teacher,

Who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back,

Slowly she began to speak.

And out from the mouth of a child,

Came words incredibly unique.

"My daddy couldn't be here,

Because he lives so far away.

But I know he wishes he could be,

Since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him,

I wanted you to know.

All about my daddy,

And how much he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories

He taught me to ride my bike.

He surprised me with pink roses,

And taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes,

and ice cream in a cone.

And though you cannot see him,

I'm not standing here alone.

Cause my daddy's always with me

Even though we are apart.

I know because he told me,

He'll forever be in my heart."

With that, her little hand reached up,

and lay across her chest.

Feeling her own heartbeat,

Beneath her favorite dress.

And from somewhere in the crowd of dads,

Her mother stood in tears.

Proudly watching her daughter,

Who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love

Of a man not in her life.

Doing what was best for her,

Doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down,

Staring straight into the crowd.

She finished with a voice so soft,

But its message clear and loud.

"I love my daddy very much,

He's my shining star.

And if he could he'd be here,

But heaven's just too far.

You see he was a fireman

And died just this past year.

When airplanes hit the towers

And taught Americans to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes,

It's like he never went away."

And then she closes her eyes,

And saw him there that day.

And to her mother's amazement,

She witnessed with surprise.

A room full of daddies and children,

All starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they say before them,

Who knows what they felt inside.

Perhaps for merely a second,

They saw him at her side.

"I know you're with me Daddy."

To the silence she called out.

And what happened next made believers,

Of those once filled with doubt.

Not one in that room could explain it,

For each of their eyes had been closed.

But there on the desk beside her,

Was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.

And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,

By the love of her shining bright star.

And given the gift of believing,

That heaven is never too far

- Unknown

A really nice poem from facebook likes,thought I'll share it with everyone. Enjoy ! (:

2011-03-13T17:08:00.000+08:00

HELLO WORLD. :D

I'm feeling..kinda weird now. :) :( :|

Life has been pretty fun,& I've been really happy at work,with my weird and silly work colleagues & him.

Every other day that I'm working opens another memory tab that I'll like to keep forever. (:

Sigh,but we all know,forever doesn't last.

If only...

Moving on,I always regret cutting off my hair.

ALWAYS.

There has never been a time when I don't regret changing my hair style.

& now,I really miss my old hair,the hair length,the fringe length,perfect for clipping it up like the photo above.

But since,it's a spur of the moment hair cut,hence,I shouldn't regret so much.

Ah well,it'll always grow back.

Hopefully before poly starts cause I really don't want to start a new school year in a new school with..weird hair.

& yes,I'll be wearing my hair with my fringe up for..almost everyday in school.

I just feel really uncomfortable with my fringe down,& I don't care if people will judge me because of the way I wear my hair or not.

(I don't understand why in the first place people have to get all judgmental.)

I'm missing my dear girls !

& angshihui too. :(

It's been so long since I've even seen them.

& the neoprints,I hold them dearest to my heart.

Outing soon,alrights ! :D

Ohya,I see J almost everyday. (:

Like you said,

Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane.

& you,you're driving me insane.

Bet you don't know.

People around me have been saying that I sound pretty emotional,hence,I'll like to just say.

I'm fine.

Always have been,always will be,alright ? (:

I won't stop smiling.

GOODBYE WORLD.

2011-03-03T10:50:00.000+08:00

If only hearts could speak,then it'll be so much easier for me to ask your heart how it feels. :(

But,everyone knows a heart can't speak.

& do you know,you're breaking mine.

it's silently killing me.

& I will never,never stop smiling.

No matter how much everything is trying to pull me down,whenever I feel like I want to put down my strong front & stop smiling,I will not.

I'll go on,no matter what. (:

不是不知道痛，只是选择活得快乐.

& I believe that's what everyone should do,just be happy. :D

2011-02-28T03:30:00.000+08:00

I don't want to lose you.

Even though you're not mine & especially since you're not mine,I really don't want to lose you.

Love sucks when everything is a one-sided affair.

But still,I'm happy just seeing you smile.

I don't have the nerve to confess but you know,you do know how I feel.

Things now are fine,but they can be better. (:

It's one day at a time & each day,I'll pray that the time will pass slowly whenever you're there.

& that you won't leave so soon.

2011-02-22T14:02:00.000+08:00

Sentosa Flowers 2011

I'm not inspired to blog at all ! :(

Seems like I can't blog in the day,I know it sounds like rubbish but seriously. ._.

So,took an off day from work on 7 february.

& went to the flower exhibition at sentosa,along harbour front (i think.).

Ah,shall let the pictures do their own explanation.

Will type text when I feel like.

More photos on facebook. (:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?id=1271420463&aid=2104617

Click on the link will do !

& lastly,shoutout !

JCXY,I've blogged.

& you,miss stm.

You said you'll tagged my blog but you haven done so ! :(

With much loves.

2011-02-18T02:33:00.000+08:00

;The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all.

;Someday

;After a downpour,there will be a rainbow. :)

deleted off everything I typed.

I'm emotionally drained,& physically.

So i'm going to bed now to rest & let my body recover.

& when I wake up,everything will be looking brighter,better & much much happier to me.

(at least now,you know.& yes,I'm glad that you do.I just wished..you could've given a more precise answer..)

saranghae,i miss you.

我不想忘記你。

2011-01-30T03:53:00.001+08:00

Eat,Pray,Love

Its been awhile. (:

& in these few weeks,I've been at work &

yeah,I really really love my job.

Although there were terrible times,eg.

Getting scolded,yelled at,ordered around.

Blahblahblah. :(

Ah,but there were great/awesome times too ! :D

&,these times were much much more than the terrible times.

There's too much for me to explain how much I have to do for my work,& I doubt whoever is reading this will be interested to know.

So yeah,I'm gonna be skipping that. (:

First of the busy times was during christmas (around 2 weeks after I first started work ?) & it was just TOTAL CRAZINESS trying to get all the party sets out in time.

However,repeatly doing the same things & same party sets day after day got the images stuck in my mind.

Which was..kinda good & bad at the same time.

Contradicting,ya i know. (:

But at the end of the day,I think I still benefitted.

Second of the busy times would be soon.

The Chinese Lunar New Year.

Because of this occasion,sakae has new party sets & of course,not to be missed out,the YUSHENG.

Small,medium & large respectively.

Okay,the yusheng is rather like..a huge salad.

After all,it DOES consist of mostly vegetables ! (:

&..this coming wednesday,2nd of february would probably be a very very busy day for us.

So yeah,yusheng madness !

Here it comes~ :D

Kay,here's some yusheng indulgence we had !

Wayyy before chinese new year. (:

My first yusheng of the year !

With salmon & maguro. (:

&,not forgetting lots & lots of pok chui. :D

After we "attacked" it.

Still looks nice though ! (:

Alright,here's a random interruption.

One of the quotes that I've been sticking by,which I find really meaningful.

&,drawings on my fingers on a oh-so-boring-day.

As long as you have faith,as long as you believe.

Nothing will ever be impossible. (:

A smile,that one simple act.

Its enough to light up my day.

&,what makes me smile ?

Kids,I love watching them play.

The innocence they have.

Its hard for adults to portray that.

& as with life.

We have love, & when we love,we hurt.

But its okay to hurt because..

"This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something. " -Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

In 23 days,I knew you,fell in love with you,got my heart broken by you.

But now,I'm fine,I'm me again.

&again,I'm stronger than ever.

Because the heart is a muscle,& what do muscles do when they're torn ? (:

They grow back stronger.

:')

& around a week after christmas,when T went on leave & G joined,

happiness came again.

In the form of the many laughters I had with my awesome work colleagues,service crew included ! :D

Yishan,the aunties,gordon,wei qing,ah lei,,M,ah huei.

Wm,james,xuanling,jamie,wai keat,candy,joal,V & everyone else. (:

Kay,the more I type,the more I feel like its a parting speech.

Which isn't to be.

I'm not gonna quit yet,I don't want to ! :(

So yeah,second yusheng indulgence ! :D

With different people & different atmosphere &..of course..a different thing happened.

Yusheng with salmon & hamachi this time,instead of maguro.

Still with lots & lots of pok chui !

I <3 pok chui. haha. :D

15 pairs of chopsticks !

The more the merrier,in this case.

& well,while the yusheng was being tossed,it somehow managed to land on my head !

& lucky for me,I was still wearing my hairnet,so damage done ?

Not much,just some stickiness. (:

Reason the yusheng got on my head !

-I'm the shortest. ._.

-I happened to have bend my head down &,it just happened~

Oh well,doesn't matter !

I believe what they say,that I'll have a really smooth 2011 ahead. :D

Afterall,postitive mindset,right ? (:

and lastly,my new peace & rabbit rings !

Really love them. :D

& here,I'll like to end with another quote.

‎"I was full of a hot, powerful sadness and would have loved to burst into the comfort of tears, but tried hard not to, remembering something my Guru once said -- that you should never give yourself a chance to fall apart because, when you do, it becomes a tendency and it happens over and over again. You must practice staying strong, ...instead."

— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

Be strong,stay strong & someday,nothing will beat you down. (:

2011-01-10T02:19:00.001+08:00

;Having faith

Around 12 hours till the results will be out.

Everything's set in stone,except we have not received it yet.

Oh well,will probably blog about my results tomorrow afternoon,if brother isn't using the computer. (:

For l1r4,i'm hoping to get 12 but...seems kinda impossible now so..

All I want to get is a decent grade & hopefully,possibly my psychology course ?

Yeah. :D

Alrights,got to get some sleep now.

else i'll be a walking zombieee tomorrow. (:

saranghae. <3

2011-01-04T15:30:00.001+08:00

Bidding goodbye to 2010.

Let the memories fade while we carry on with our lives. (:

Well...2010 has been a year full of joy,laughter,sadness,agony,a little bitterness & whatever else things.

But...i'm happy to meet new people in 2010.

Not just a few but,at least 10 ! (:

Work colleagues from sakae,of course.

& 2010 has been a hectic year of mugging,going crazy over mugging & just all the craziness & stress from the O's.

But yeah,we've made it through,all of us.

Even though,times in class wasn't really pleasant for me sometimes because of the quarrels but..still tolerable.

Thanks to Denson & Joash for all the craps & laughters.

Xinen for all the times (crazy,sleepy.blahblahblah.)

Cindy & Jasmine for all the motivation ! :D

Motivated me so much in terms of whatever. ;)

Chaoya for being such a great friend & for all the random laughter we had. (plus,bullying xinen together. Heh.) :D

& all my classmates for just being there.

You all were a great part of year 2010 & I hope,we'll still remain in contact & stay as friends,as long as forever lasts. (:

Kay,who else did I miss ?

Ohya,Mr Koh !

Hmm..

Thanks for teaching our class.

For all those crazy /embarrassing/funny/angry times you had with us,I'll treasure all of them.
(:

& thanks to my best friend of 4 years & still counting.
Joesis Chua Xin Yi. :D
i'm really honoured & proud to have you as my best friend okay.
you're a silly goose at times but heh,lovable still. (:

I wish I may,I wish I might.

Have this wish I wish tonight. (:

New year resolutions for 2011.

Resolution #1: Give my poor nails a chance to grow ! :/

Resolution #2: Learn to listen & to be mute. (:

Resolution #3: Changing my attitude/perspective towards things &,that will possibly throw everything into a better light. (:

Resolution #4: Be more tolerant towards older people.No matter whenever & whatever.Even if they're being unreasonable

Resolution #5: Treasure myself & to protect my heart from further damage. ♥

Resolution #6: Not to be late for work. (:

More resolutions..

Resolution #7: To have more patience.

Resolution #8: Hopefully will be able to get into NP.(everything's almost set in stone.)

Shall update more if I think of any.

Afterall,self encouragement is always needed,isn't it ? :D

Lastly & once more,HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE !

2010-11-27T15:02:00.000+08:00

Think of a thousand reasons to smile.

Cause you're worth it.

Don't be sad,nor broken-hearted cause of people who isn't worth it.

2010-09-27T20:37:00.000+08:00

; don't ever forget

that you're not the ONLY ONE who's fighting.

alongside you,your bestest friends,your dearest classmates,your don't-really-know-well schoolmates.

we're all working towards what we're wanting.

Never ever forget,although everyone is working towards something different,it won't hurt you to give a helping hand.

Live,love,laugh.

Cause you know you can. (:

; I haven't lost,i'll only have lost if i said,i give up.

But i won't be.

I'll fight every obstacle & every desire.

Cause this goal isn't easy to reach,but with a little effort,you'll get there easier.

Note to self: Work hard for yourself,for your own future.

No one but yours.

MIA till after O's.

I'll try to resist the urges. (:

Self-ban on computers.

Tee-vee's a treat.

off to continue homeworks now.

Much loves,Sze Yong. <3

2010-09-27T20:23:00.000+08:00

; i'm gonna wait for my freedom

countdown to first O paper: 25 days

countdown till freedom: 25 + about 2 weeks. 39 days.

Maximum will be around 42 days ?

let's not scare ourselves.

1 more month of mugging hard,putting in all our effort,& then,its time to PARTY.

too early to talk about this now but,oh well,its a motivation for me. :D

; its when i think too much

this kinda worries me !

but i'll cope.

i always do.

although i'm not very adaptive,but still,i'll cope. :D

free-fall. (:

; when life gives you lemons,make lemonade.

I'll be happy.

Even if i'm doing something I don't like.

I shall fall head-over-heels with maths all over again.

Love english more.

Spend more time with dearest sciences & humanities.

& read more of my D&T.

all rights.

2nd last post.

1 more coming up.NOW.

2010-09-24T19:05:00.000+08:00

When the going gets tough,the tough gets going & the weak gets falling .

So,stay STRONG.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't know what's changed,but,there definitely is change.

I don't dare to face anyone anymore,i've lost my courage & my confidence.

I look & try to stay strong on the outside,but inside,I'm so weak there barely is a fragment of myself that I recognise anymore.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't know what's happening,why aren't you replying me.

I'm worried,but i'm sure you'll come up with a great excuse/reason.

I'm not sure what to comprehend anymore.

We can't,won't,or don't speak in school.

If we could,I won't have so much unfounded worries now.

There's only 1 way for me to contact you,but you ain't replying & i seriously am not sure what to do.

If i could,i would call you.

But,i don't think i should.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i'm not happy.

I'm on the brink of desperation.

But,i'll tide over.

it always does.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

the saddest love story is one where two people are deeply in love,but due to circumstances,one has to walk away.

& when one walks away,both will feel sadness.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

deeply,faithfully,sincerely.

with the greatest love.

2010-09-20T12:53:00.000+08:00

; dreams hardly ever come true

I have mine,but they ain't getting fulfilled.

& won't be too.

Not till after O's,not till after i've finished my education.

first thing I wanna get as soon as possible ?

DSLR. i'm still longing for this,& always will be,till I get it.

For now,POOF.

bubble dreams.

-----------

People just don't understand me.

They don't understand what I want,what i really need.

I need laughter in my life,but all i'm getting is frustrations.

If i weren't strong enough,i'll have end it all now.

----------

off to study,because i have to,not because i want to.

just what i really needed.

FML.

2010-09-17T19:21:00.000+08:00

; following your heart

that's what I do best.

but sometimes,its mind over matter.

a little bit of sacrifice,& you'll get back unexpected results.

2010-09-08T18:21:00.000+08:00

6 September 2010:

Happy Birthday Mummy. ((:

Wods can be left unspoken,about how much i love you. cause i know you know how much it is.

smile. :D

2010-09-01T19:24:00.000+08:00

;i want to sit on a plane & fly away.

i want to be a happy girl.

;i just want to start anew

goodbye,my (L).

for i have loved you so.

& now,my love shall remain in the fridge till after the Os.

then,i'll thaw it out. (:

;i'll do what i've promised

i've heard,& i've learnt.

daddy,i'm sorry.

let me be.

i will put in my best effort.

you don't need to repeat what i've promised you.

;my fondest desire

DSLRs are loved.

(L).

i ain't incapable to take care of one if i'm getting it.

;fly free.

listen to what your heart truly desires.

however,prioritise.

Os first,then argue for whatever you want,after.

with lots of loves,szeyong.

2010-08-21T21:27:00.000+08:00

; feeling hapless

D&T sucks.TTM.

i hate doing photoshop.

so i hope that zhengwen has time on monday to help me.

please,please.

if not i won't be able to finish my contextual drawing already. :(
which will lead to me not being able to finish my PB.

oh god,can't imagine where that will lead me to.

._.

too pessimistic to think about,so i won't think about it. (:

; live wild

2010-08-12T22:59:00.000+08:00

"Life is certainly good,but love is even better;But for the sake of freedom,both can be abandoned"

By:Sandor Petofi (Hungarian poet)

Will you sacrifice either for freedom ?

I don't think i can do without.

P.s:English oral tomorrow ! wish me luck. ^^

2010-08-10T17:34:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling a little happy.
                                         a little bored.
a little pressured.
                                  a little suffocated.
a little crazy.
                                          a little upset.
a little nervous,
                                        a little worried,
a little elated.

So...MIXED EMOTIONS. :<

broken-hearted dolly

there's nothing wrong with being broken-hearted.

the only wrong is if you're unable to pick up the pieces that shattered.

when that person walks so far away that you're not able to see even the smallest speck of the person at all,

you'll know,it was never meant to be.
by learning to fall,you learn how to stand up too.

sing me a lullaby,so i'll fall into a peaceful sleep.

let me forget all my troubles.

because once,i loved too.

2010-07-31T19:53:00.002+08:00

Changed the background of my blog.

Its nicer now.

But....who knows how to make my links visible ?

&,how to make the white boxes smaller ?

: ((((((((

NEED HELP.

szeyongg

2010-07-31T02:06:00.001+08:00

I am gifted,so are you !

27 June-29 June

Well,adam khoo's workshop started on 27 june,tuesday,& ended on 29 june,thursday.

Lots of laughter,tears & learning.

First day:lots of laughter.

Okay,rather.

Basically,just laughing & learning.

Which i love alot. <3

a relaxed environment is the best environment for me to work in. x)

& cause our trainer is really humorous.

he isn't trying to make us laugh,its just that,the way he talks.its funny.

he can speak in different languages & accents.

Second day:laughter,then tears.

Workshop started as per first day.

learnt,learnt,learnt.

then,danny took over.

i'm talking about the trainer,his name is DANNY.

it'll stick in my head.BECAUSE,he's the first man to make me cry,just using his words & feelings.

:'(

i'm not the one only who cried,okay !

i'll elaborate on this,soon.

After our break at around...2 plus.

Went back to AVA room.

then continued learning.

After that,ChaoYa & Cindy wanted to go to the toilet.

The trainer didn't allow.

._.

then danny talked for a while more.

After that,cause we were talking about parents.

Then suddenly,danny scolded/lectured/talked in a v fierce voice.

So the whole class got shocked. :(

Danny scolded/lectured/talked in a v fierce voice to us for awhile more.

Then suddenly he asked everyone to be quiet.

Obviously,we all clammed up,he already so angry,if we talk somemore confirm get scolded.

So,yeah.

Then after that,he asked us to close our eyes,& cup our hands around our eyes.

Still with us super quiet,he switched off the lights,put on some emotional music & started talking.

Which was also the same time that the tears started to fall. :'( :'(

All danny did was talk & talk.& all i did was cry & cry.& then my flu became worse. x)

Used like..1 whole packet of tissues.

Cause my tears kept falling when i imagined my parents dying.etc.

I have a fear of death,even if its not happening on me.

: (((((((( idk why too.

after that,listened to a song.

& then I cried somemore.

then,danny told us to write a letter.

penning down our sorries,thank yous.etc.

While writing the letter,i have no idea why,but i'm still holding back tears.

Wrote my letter,about half a page of the sketch pad.

was among the last to leave that day,then the other "trainer" asked me if i was okay or not ?

replied that i was fine. (:

if not wrong,his name is zhenxiong.

went to the toilet then i knew why he asked.cause my face was really pale. ._.

& my eyes were swollen ! like from o.o became O.O

came home & showed mummy & daddy the letter.

((( :

Third & also the final day:laughter & boredom

blahblahblah.

did some memorization techniques with tracy.

after that,gary took over & after lunch break,danny took over.

Before danny took over,we were told by gary to write down our future plan.

Where we wanted to go,etc.

So me & chao ya went to ask gary about which poly we can go to.

Chao Ya asked first.

after she asked,i started asking.IN CHINESE.

ZOMG.gary punished me to do 10 up-downs.

because we have this rule of no-speaking chinese during the workshop.

& ZOMG again.stupid me.

i counted while doing,counted to 5,IN CHINESE.

So i was told to do 60.60 lehs ! Legs wobbly after.

Luckily only a few people saw.cause most went out for toilet break.

*phew*

then i didn't wanted to open my mouth,if not later i speak in chinese again,i can go bang the wall already.

Chao Ya asked for me.

thanks ~ (:

after,danny took over.

danny has a Macbook ! i'm envious.

&,he has a condo too.LOL.

i prefer HDB to condos.

but private housing is the best.HAHA. (:

rushed to finish dinner in 15 mins.

threw away half of the rice. ._.

cause no time to eat.

went up to hall

& there's a new trainer,leroy.

while he was talking,i hardly paid attention,cause its mainly for parents.

& most of the things leroy said was went through in the workshop already.

Hmm.after that,people went up to talk.

most cried.

I didn't feel brave enough to go up,but,i really love my parents.

& they know it too. <3

released & went to vista for FOOD.

home,bathed & almost immediately fell asleep.

So,yep !

that's about it for the workshop.i know i didn't really elaborate.

anyways,the second day is the most memorable one. ( :

cause after crying,it felt like a burden was lifted.

Introducing my trainers.

(Photo taken from:www.akltg.com)

<--Gary Lee.Mr humorous.

Danny Tong.Mr Emotional-->

i like this trainer more. ://///

Firstly,I didn't stalk them !

Pictures credit to the website.

&,there's another trainer,Tracy.

But i couldn't find her picture on the website.

Lastly,i found the phobia name for my fear of death.

Thanatophobia-Fear of dying or death.

Yeah,so.Now both you & I know.

P.S: James cook Uni is my goal !

P.S.S: this morning(friday),chao ya told me she got an interview for her desired course.i'm happy for her. (:

but,i'm worried for myself.i think chances of me getting my course is gone already.blame myself for not working hard enough.have to buck up from now onwards.COMPLETE d&t.

P.S.S.S: its freaking 2.04am in the morning already ! there's school in 6 hours !

Stick with you;

Sze Yong.

2010-07-29T00:42:00.000+08:00

Its 12:40 now.

I'll spare myself the suffering of posting now.

I'll post about today another time.

It won't be likely for me to forget about today(or rather,yesterday.28/7)

because.its memorable &,i felt like,my burden's been lifted.

yeah.so thanks.

thanks to..danny,my trainer.

okay,i'm lazy to elaborate.

So,till next time.

tata~ (:

2010-07-29T00:40:00.000+08:00

;all because of a name

I got myself a name keychain ! :D:D

yeah,that's the one up there ?

simple & prettaye. (:

the heart's cute too ~

& this was done in...5 mins.

cost:$8

because of more letter of my name,i had to pay $3 more.

but,well...mummy & daddy gave me my name de !

so don't ever.insult it.

anways,isn't the time taken to do my keychain fast ?

not by me of course !

but by....

;the guy whose face you can't see.

._.

i know,that'll be your reaction right ?

give me a stupid face.Haha. (:

anyways,daddy said he's an indonesian.

whatever it may be,i love his handicrafts.

the designs are really pretty.

okay,obviously,i'm starting to crap.

so,well.

byebye !

2010-07-26T21:36:00.000+08:00

;a beautiful mindset,depicts a beautiful story

for all the words i've got to say,let's wait till the next time we can talk.but,let's hope that i'll not forget.

so much to do,so much to say,so little time.

so hard to ignore.

bye

with much loves,me. (:

2010-07-23T23:03:00.000+08:00

;live your life as colourful as a rainbow

& as happy as the kitty smiling above.

school's been a mess.

i really need to start living happier.

before i eventually go crazy,even before the big O.

;bzz,stop that buzzing !

nowadays,i find the sounds around me,the noises,everything.

a little too noisy,a little too much for my ears to bear.

Now,i get really irritated whenever people keep asking & asking,when all i want to do is tell them to stfu & leave me alone,for awhile at least.

leave my poor ears alone.before i scream & shriek at you.

thank you.

there is no expiry date for love.love only stops when you stop.

keep loving. <3

2010-07-21T20:49:00.000+08:00

;time to be geeky

hello hello !

school's been.a roller coaster ride today.

too much to elaborate on.

so,i shouldn't

just came to inject some life into this blog. (:

hee.&,that monkey up there is really cuteee.isn't it ?

i wanna own it,but idk where to get it.

shall look for it after my Os.

then maybe get it for myself as a birthday pressie ! :D:D

well,gave sheizal & amalina their birthday presents tomorrow.

both of them liked it,so i'm happy. (:

gave amalina personally,asked maybelle to help me give sheizal.

cause i don't dare to. ._.

two more days till school ends for this week.

i'm looking forward to 9 august & 20-25 august.

cause that's national day,followed by the release of the DPA results.

GAH,nervous~~

meanwhile,school's a chore.

but still,a must.

i'll preservere !

no matter how tough. (:

alrights,nothing much to say now.

one random sentence:i'm looking forward to my birthday this year ! ^^

szeyongg says bye.

2010-07-16T22:41:00.000+08:00

;the rain won't last forever.

even if it does,rejoice & dance in the rain,while waiting for the rainbow after the rain to appear.

;what is beautiful is what you think is beautiful,not the way it appears to be.

to me,that's how you appear to be.

;if you fight along with me,i'll fight for you.

ily.

SzeYongg says:everything's a facade,even my true feelings.look,into my heart.

2010-07-14T21:30:00.000+08:00

In DANGER:Sze Yong's ducky

*laughs*

Cause jielun keeps wanting to steal my ducky.

Why,i have no idea.
Anyways,jielun IS a porkie.

Porkie is trying to catch my ducky !

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!

Someone save my ducky from jielun's hands.

HAHA.okay,i'm having fun typing this.

Cause i'm lazy to type about the rigous of MY secondary school life.

So,let me entertain you all with....Half my imagination,& half the truth. :D

&,its my blog ! So,i get to type what i like.HEE. :D

Okay,i think i'm going a little crazy cause of ~~someone~~ you.

Everytime i'm online,you are not.

& everytime i'm not online,you MAY be online.

So sad. :((

I KNOW you won't see this but STILL.

i want to let someone know.

Cause since i can't say,then i've got to change it into another form.

By typing.

This IS torturous.

Release me soon.

(I don't mean this literally,(if you happen to see this post) just,be online,& talk to me.)

i've got lots of things i'm curious about.

wayyy too many things to ask you.

alrights,enough of this crappy post.

seems more like i'm writing in my diary.

FML. ._.

except for the top part.

Haha.enjoyed ?

tag me,yeah ? (:

torn apart.imy

(figuratively,not literally)

2010-07-13T00:15:00.000+08:00

Submitted application form for DPA.

Results will be out on:20 August,2010.

Whoever's seeing this,pray for me.

No matter whether you're taoist,buddhist,muslim,christian,roman catholic.

Whatever,just pray for me will do.

&,give me your best wishes ! : >

Right,off to bed now.

Goodnights !

I'm nervous. ://////

2010-07-11T19:03:00.000+08:00

Went to RP yesterday with my dearest GFs.

Namely,Jojo,Qing & Jayce.

Headed there after speech day ended & had Subway wrap for lunch.

Walked around after trying to find a place.

Which is not easy at all.

Cause RP is goddamn big but..with alot of empty spaces & not much places for us to do homework.

Well,nobody wants to sit on the floor & do their work,right ?
Ended up,we sat in a corner with two tiny tables,one of which we carried up the stairs by ourselves.
Sitting next to a dustbin,a recycling bin & a cranky-sounding vending machine.Is so not fun.
-
Started on our work.
I was drawing & writing like a mad woman.but i'm a relaxed mad woman. :D
Hello,50 new pages by wednesday ! :(
Qing & Jayce were gossiping.Haha. (:
blahblahblahzxc.
The rest isn't fun to say.

So,in a nutshell:I went out to study on saturday ! : >
& with any luck,or alot of luck,i'll be able to get the 50 pages out by wednesday.
Off to continue slogging now.

That's my hair,& that;s my polka-dot bow clip.

Don't ask me why i put this picture here.

I just though,it looks pretty.

In a abstract kinda way.

& no,i'm not being obssessed with my hair.

thank you very much. : >

Byebye !

what i discover shocked me,but what you told me shocked me even greater.

forbidden to.

2010-07-09T22:43:00.000+08:00

I'm happy. (:
Can i just type a few sentences & take it as a post ?
No,i can't.
But,oh well.
I don't have the time,energy or the mind now to do this.
&,i can't seem to upload new pictures either.
So i dug out old ones.
Please be satisfied,CINDY !
&,i still owe you a post,i remember.
But,i'll owe it first.
Till i actually have enough time on my hands.
Maybe..after i submit my D&T,okay. (:

P.S: TRJ made my day yesterday.thank you so much ! :D

the beauty of who you are or what you are is not seen by how you behave,or how you feel.

It is instead,judged by people around you,from what comes of your heart,& not by the looks.

Sze Yongg.

2010-07-02T23:14:00.000+08:00

Get well soon

Be back in school alrights ?

4 months left,then as promised,we're free.

Kinda miss you,as a friend.

I wonder,will we ever see each other again after all this ?

2010-06-28T22:31:00.000+08:00

-taken this morning

first day back at school.

was fine ?

i kinda enjoyed it.

-random

-that's how far away your heart & mine is.

different entities

-i keep on forgetting(to forget about you)

tell me how.

I'm not upset,don't worry. (:

2010-06-24T08:34:00.000+08:00

-courage

I need courage.

Chinese oral practice lessons later.

I'm gonna be late if i don't get off the computer now.

So,goodbye

2010-06-23T22:02:00.000+08:00

-Just smile,& everything will be fine.alrights ?

Nothing much to blog about.

But i just wanted to type.

So....here i am ! :D

Went for check-up in the morning.

Quite okay ?

Took my height & weight.

Both didn't change.

Which is...a good thing ?i guess..

But i'll like to grow TALLER.

Alrights,really nothing to blog about.

Be back soon.

Glad twitter's working via text now.

Cause of gladlyCast.so grateful.

i don't care,if you don't care.

2010-06-22T22:07:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday,Lee Yue Qing. :D

Yeah,so it was our dearest Yue Qing's birthday today.

I guessed,she was surprised ? & happy (:

Went to school around,10 plus.

Got jaycelyn to write on the card,wrote mine & then rushed to find joesis.

Cause yueqing was already in school (!!)

Joesis wrote finished & we (Jaycelyn,Joesis & I),held our cards &/ gifts behind our backs & walked towards yueqing in the workshop.

She was kinda shocked by the card ?

Cause it was plastered all over with her pictures.

Hopefully,she liked her gift too ? :D

Pictures below,enjoy.

I put up the picture of the ones without the messages we wrote to yueqing,for privacy reasons. (:

Dumbest-girl,Happy Birthday,yeah?

Hope you treasure the card & the gift.

Thanks for the thankyou message.

Love you too. <3

Another birthday tomorrow.

I'm hoping,he'll like his gift,but,i'm not really sure.

Oh well,fingers crossed ! x)

Off to catch my show now,its about dancing !

Channel U,10pm. (:

Written with loves,

Sze Yong

2010-06-15T19:20:00.000+08:00

Here's my post for aesthetics night.

It's a tad late,but,yeah.
Bear with me. (:

Had lessons in the morning,supposingly started at 10.
But the person who typed the timetable typed as 8:15 (!!)
Ended up,most of the combinbed science students & a few of the pure chemistry students had chemistry lesson x2.
One lesson is enough to kill me.
Still have to get 2 lessons.
So,I was almost dead by the time lessons ended.
&,I was left with little time to prepare !
Rushed home>Lunch-ed>Bathed>Done.
-
Met up with jojo at chameleon to get the hairsprays for the dancers.
Spent a longgggg time waiting for the person to find a purple colour one.
Bought my things,then while waiting for jaycelyn.
We went to collect the CAKE ! Jamie's cake,cause its her birthday (Pictures later !)
-
Met with jaycelyn & bus-ed to RP.
Looked for mr adrian upon reaching &.
Ta-da ! He brought us in.
-
Once in,immediately got stuffs to do.
Did make up for the dancers who were performing with the drama club people.
& my back started to hurt.
Cause
-I have to move around to get the make-up since we had to share one small palette with THREE people.
-I had to bend to see the daner's face properly,if not my make-up would have been ugly (was rubbed away & make-up-ed again anyways,so should have just anyhow drew ._.)
Drew,drew,drew.
Done with the drama group dancers.
Then slacked off for awhile,went to find people to take photos with.
Photo fun ! Hee. :D cam-whored with jaycelyn in the toilet. ._.
-
Returned back.
& was told to help the main group dancers.
Was doing jocelyn's face then suddenly they said got rehearsal.
10 minutes later...
Rehearsal cancelled.
End result ? I anyhow drew on jocelyn's face telling her that I would do nicely for her after rehearsal.
After that,blah blah.
Started doing YY's face.
Then teacher suddenly said wanted the eyes to look BIGBIG ,so had to extend the eyeliner.
& since this is my first time doing make-up for others,I didn't know how.
So,i did a terrible job of it.
Then YY started saying,"joesis draw better lehs ! I want joesis to draw."
So in a rush of anger,I washed my hands & left the room.
I swear,I didn't took the eyeliner or any other stupid make-up things after that.
I simply busied myself looking at the dancers.
*At this point of time,I was really angry & frustrated already.I'm not one to tolerate people who do,or say stupid /unpleasant things.
-
-
Took photo with h. \m/
& other dancers.
Photos with kh was horrible.
His own fault anyways. (:
-
Blah blah,had dinner after.
Catered by school (?)
Then rushed to toilet & then went to find my mummy.
Got seats.Joanne,YueQing,Sarah,Pei Yu & SingLing came afterwards.
Overall,aesthetics night performance was brilliant.
Just that,I really hate the way people work.
They're so inflexible.
As if the rules can't be bend.
*Just keep saying "NO' will not be able to solve the problem,for god's sake,use your brain,you were born with one for a reason.*
-
Went to backstage to celebrate jamie's birthday after that.
Finished off the cake with jojo & brenda,i think.
-
Walked to causeway after that.
DH was behind.
Aww,i kinda miss him.
HAHA :D
Bus-ed home.
Anyways...even though i really hate your attitudes,still..
Dancers,I love you all ! <3
Work hard for every performance that you're gonna have.
I miss you all.

P.S:I got my photo (!!)
Thanks jaycelyn,ily ! :D:D

Picture time !
Do your own guessing game,link the pictures to the post.
3 pictures for now ! Not much to link.
I'll update this post with more pictures.
So,stay tune.

Pretty Ladies. (:

I'm not being arrogant,but,seriously.

J & J,you both do NOT look ugly in the pictures.

Believe me.

i.l.h

2010-06-13T10:21:00.000+08:00

Wait for my post ! (:

2010-06-11T00:23:00.000+08:00

-Life isn't a bed or roses,

but can it not be a bed of thorns ?

Is it me,or is it you.

I'm giving in to what all of you want & you had to say those words.

I know,you honestly don't care if i'm sitting with you all or not.

But can you at least give a damn about my feelings.

I already sacrificed & said we'll sit together.

Then,you had to say that.

All of us are in the wrong,but who started it ?

Its takes 2 freaking hands to clap.

I'm cracking my head thinking of the ideal solution while all you can give me are those words ?

Is that how much of a friend i mean to you ?

If so,i'll rather not be.

Everyone changed,i've change too.

Its just that,because all of you changed so much,you're starting to loathe each other.

That's why i've got to suppress the change in myself,so i can pull myself together & try to solve this out.

If all your answers are,"anything",i don't care","i don't know".

Then ask yourself,do you respect me as a friend ?

Who am i to you ?

Do i even mean anything ?

& if so,please,i don't need your respect.

As long as you don't give me those sarcastic words,i'll be happy.

I'm breaking down inside.

Its just that i'm not showing it.

& by not showing it,it doesn't mean that everything is alright.

No,it doesn't.

I'm being caught between a rock & a hard place.

But you don't give a damn,so should I ?

You don't forgive & you don't forget.

Then this issue will never,never ever be solved.

"大事化小，小事化无。"

Will this ever happen ?

I'm sorry,i can't take all of this anymore.

INSY

2010-06-09T22:10:00.000+08:00

-aspire to be

D&T for today was..aspiring.

Well,one setback won't make me give up.

I was a little sad for awhile but,i've bounced back !

&,three adults were helping me to get ideas for my product,so i felt real honoured.

well...

I ended up borrowing the shape of a butterfly.

Cause yesterday,i bought a blue butterfly mirror,so,yeah.

So random :D

Sketched,foam-ed,cut & paint my foam BLACK.

So my hands were black quite alot of times.

Was washable though. (:

-Another random picture.

Cause i was waiting for my butterfly to dry from the really watery black paint.

& yeah.

I'm too tired to say much.

-Mochi mochi ~

Went up with jojo to genesis for awhile after.

&,up there.

yeah,she gave me that mochi.

After a few bites,I was really lazy to hold it.

So I just popped the whole mochi into my mouth.

Causing me to be unable to talk for a while.

& time dragged,waiting for something really takes alot of patience.

D&T or otherwise.

I've still got lots to start on since i've re-do but i'll hang on.

I'll hang on.

-The old's gotta go before the new can come.

Went to meet dearest jojo at 888 just now.

Got my haircut.

Or rather,I trimmed my hair.

Shorten & changed the style of my fringe.

& cut my hair thinner.

My hair is much lighter now,so i hope,i'll feel cooler ?

LOL :D

My haircut took only around..10 minutes ?

Really fast.

Walked around with her afterwards.

Bought some things.

I just like being with her.

I can't wait for friday !

But seating arrangement is a headache.

kcuf friendship issues.

&..nevermind,shouldn't say it.

I will zip my mouth up.

-Live wild,go free.

I think,everything will be better if I don't speak.

just because i'm the elder one,doesn't mean that i have to offer to help.

You're plain lazy & i can see that,if not,i would probably have offered to help.

you throw your tantrum when you're not happy.

please uhs,have you ever spared a thought for me ?you're selfish.

that's why i just sit there & keep quiet till everything's over.

You said i only know how to cry.so i held back my tears.

you say my attitude's bad when i wasn't even showing any attitude.

you only think bad about others,have you EVER reflected upom yourself ?

I guess not.

I'm a girl,i'm your sister.

& i don't want YOU to grow up to be someone everyone doesn't like.

or..are you just a two face person ?

I'm sorry for saying all this but,that's the fact.I would not say it to your face,so i'll rather type it out here.

I know you won't see it.So I hope you'll realise soon that,you have got to change.

(I don't need stupid comments from people who don't understand the situation.)

got nagged at by my father just now.

because of him,again.

time & time again,nothing changes.

i really wish i can shake you till you come to your senses,realise who you truly are.

& change.

that's all i got to say.

Holidays are unlike holidays.

But i'm used to that.

Just wish I could take some time off to hang out.

Do not bring hurt with your words.

PLEASE.

i worry,because i care.

its not an excuse,its a fact.

I'll be happy & stay that way.

I will not let you get the better of me.

Life's like that

2010-06-06T11:44:00.000+08:00

-go wild,like you've never gone wild before.

June booster programme has been.

One word:Tiring

Friday was supposed to be the best,but it was the worst.

Too many things happened.

I'll elaborate on this when i can get access to the computer again.

-everything is a lie,even my smile

As seen,i've changed my blogskin,.

Yep ! AGAIN.

I can't find the right one.

So,i'll settle for this simple one first.

I guess,that's all i've got to say. (:

-i want to know

How do you feel ?

how do i feel ?

I'm confused,throughly confused.

-Broken-Hearted Girl

2010-06-01T17:28:00.001+08:00

I'll be back.

Off to dance BBQ.

2010-05-24T22:00:00.000+08:00

(i don't need this)

NOT now.

not at this time.

not at a week before my O level chinese papers.

I DO NOT like arguing with you.

Next time,i'll ask.

I'll ask till I get scolded again.

Today's not a fine day.

Rendered speechless

2010-05-21T21:37:00.001+08:00

(Artistic,or not ?)

hmm..

OH.HELLO !

today's friday. ._. (yeah,duh !)

well...had a..okay day at school today ?

intensive as usual today.

someone's being MEAN.

well,idc.

as long as you're there.

&,something G said yesterday made me realised that..

yeah,ALOT of people do know about it.

oh,crap.

well,life's like THAT.

doesn't matter how it goes.

i'm just take it as it is.

(: (: (:

(Tiny posies)

Posies rosies.

Lovely-dovey.

HAHA :D random craps up there !

._.

(i wish..)

how about,you tell me ?

it'll be so much easier then,won't it.

yeah,i may get hurt.

but i need to get an answer.

before its all too late.

Life without you.

2010-05-19T21:12:00.000+08:00

Something's wrong.

with blogger.

well,so.

decision to post should be postponed.

or rather,here's a short post without any pictures first. O:

Lastly,I'm praying for it not to rain tomorrow.

Its been raining for three days consecutively.

& I'm praying,for courage.

To smile at the people I want to.

To let them know that.

i don't fear them.or otherwise

Sze Yong;promises

2010-05-18T21:23:00.000+08:00

(Love is but a 3 letter word)

hellos.

hmm,chinese intensive has been crazy ! although its been just 2 days but,yeah.

i guess alot of people can't take it already.

breathing chinese,writing chinese,reading chinese,listening to chinese.

._.

there's mock paper on every monday,wednesday & friday for these 2 weeks.

meaning..POOF !! our friday is gone like that.

how sad. D:

MT paper is in 2 weeks.

I'm feeling the urgency already.

BUT ! seriously,chinese is a bore. :(

oh,well.

got to go already.

homework's beckoning.

Sze Yong;I-___-U

ily

2010-05-17T22:14:00.000+08:00

I've changed my blogskin.

Yeah,again.

Cry me out,enjoy the song (:

Sze Yong;heartbeatt

2010-05-16T17:59:00.000+08:00

(Wish,upon a bright twinkling star)

I don't think you'll see this.

But still.

What's wrong ?

Remember that promise.

Cheer up,stay happy.

If there's anything bugging you.

I'm here.always. (:

Chinese intensive starts tomorrow.

I'm gonna mug hard for this 2 weeks.

so,yeah.

Apologises for not blogging long entries.

Cindy,i know you want me to blog but..

Perhaps a long entry in the june holidays ?

That's my promise to you :D

"If i had been the one to leave,would you have written out your heart to me ?"

(Adapted from jodi picoult-mercy)

Sze Yong;imperfections

2010-05-09T21:16:00.000+08:00

HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY

i love you.

BEST MUMMY.

:D:D

short post for now.

i'll edit this.

2010-05-07T23:00:00.000+08:00

Last 2 papers to go.

I'm gonna be mugging for my D&T & science this weekend.

pray that i won't fall sick again.

tuition's cancelled this weekend cause i told teacher i wanted to study for my D&T paper.

lots to memorise.

*note to self: do 2 things after this post

going out tomoro.

so there's only sunday left for studying !

&,I have got to do well for my D&T paper.

A1,that's my goal.

blog more about this few days,or this whole week after i've cleared all my papers.

pictures to upload & words to type. (:

i promise.

Lastly,

it's stupid & i ain't gonna care anymore.

P.S:because of the above reason,2 girls have been singing to me this ONE SENTENCE

"you're the only exception~~" .__.

& so,i have got the song in my phone now.

Sze Yong;♥ilikeyou♥

2010-05-03T15:16:00.000+08:00

I'm sick.

yes,again,unfortunately.

its the examination week &

i've just been sick around..

2 weeks back ?

so yeah.

D: D:

i really hope i get well before this saturday.

cause there's a family gathering & I want to EAT ! :):)

& cookies too.

& studying out.

oh well,lots of stuffs to do.

but now,back to studying first.

Sze Yong;not well

2010-05-01T21:27:00.002+08:00

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. H.L. Mencken

2010-04-24T14:06:00.000+08:00

changed blogskin.

updated blogsong

2010-04-21T20:45:00.000+08:00

i'm exhausted.

loads of school works to complete.

& the time i'm sleeping is getting later & later.

sometimes,at 3 in the morning.

meaning i only get about 3.5 hours (maximum) of sleep.

can't comtinue like that.

i'll collapse sooner or later.

plus,sleeping in class is a BIG no-no & i don't wanna make a fool outta myself.

Mummy is coming baack tomorrow !

i miss her,too much.

Sze Yong;sleepyhead

2010-04-18T14:57:00.000+08:00

What do you do when you're bored ?

entertain yourself,obviously

well,i'm trying my best.but.i'm stil rather bored.

because.multi-tasking=not bored

my brother is starving me !

he told me he'll help me buy lunch at 11 plus.

i told him what i wanted at 12 but he only went down to buy lunch at 2.

luckily,had some oreos for breakfast.

(i'm in love with oreos.)

:D :D

fooled around with daddy's webcam just now.

took some pictures.

but.i'm ugly.

4 more days till your return.

i don't like you going overseas.

i'm missing you.

come back soon.

Sze Yong;because love,conquers all

2010-04-14T21:37:00.000+08:00

Counting down to when you'll be back.

i'm missing you already.

9 more days.

life's gonna be hell without you there for me.

my good night hugs. :(

Sze Yong

2010-04-12T21:01:00.000+08:00

In a mess-up state of mind.

went to change my blogskin & also changed my blogsongs.

hope you like both of them ! :D

&,hey.

don't give up yet.

think about what you want.

& yeah,i know.

its not about the people or the way they look at you.

but,is that the right decision ?

Don't give up on yourself,when I haven't/others haven't give up on you yet.

You'll pull through if you try.

trust me.

Sze Yong;THAT promise

2010-04-12T20:37:00.000+08:00

life's a mess right now.

i need my happy self back.

less stress,more happiness.

grant my wish.

studies ain't going well.

dance is just a disappointment

& well,physically.

i'm not well too.

Luckily i've got my best friends around.

To accompany & argue for what we feel is right.

afterall,it is !

being kicked out of that is just plain unfair.

just because some came late & we didn't came on time.

having oral is a good reason ! not a feeble excuse.

there's something called an exception.

i'm sure the teachers will let us off coach for awhile to get our things done.

we're all humans.why are you so unreasonable ?

i don't feel nor think its my fault.

what you're doing is just plain unfair.

maybe,the matter could have been justified a bit by telling us beforehand ?

but,NO ! we had to be told by others.& when we came to seek an explanation.

a whole bunch of questions were thrown at us.

so,its our fault now ?

(i ain't naming anyone here.)

I don't need any adults controlling my life.

or the lives that my friends & I are already having.

its more than enough.

for once,just once,can't you understand & let us do what we want ?

selfish being.

return back.

i need some peace,some time on my own to find myself back.

i don't want to be trapped in YOUR circle again.

never again.

Sze Yong;absurd & totally unjustificable

2010-04-07T21:35:00.000+08:00

Busy school days.Lots of homeworks.

& lastly,falling sick.

oral today was not well done.

i personally felt that passage was okay but..conversation was not.

sigh,i had so little words to say !

english oral tomoro.

I hope i'll be able to do will.

& pray that my cough doesn't worsen !

Sze Yong;blahblahblah

2010-03-28T18:04:00.000+08:00

(we loved,because he first loved us)

1 week of unwritten proper post.

4 days of unwritten improper post.

time is running out.

i'm barely able to breathe.

6 or 7 months to go.

i'm fear,to not be able to do well.

but i shall conquer this fear.

on to homeworks now.

blog updating,a few days later.

or when i'm free.

all for now.

Sze Yong;its hard to love & even harder to stop loving

2010-03-24T22:31:00.002+08:00

(miracles do happen.right ?)

i believe they do.

it just haven happened to me.yet

(beautiful things DO exist)

lovely butterfly.

&,i'm tired out.

no brain cells for homework anymore.its piling up !

(i wanna throw a rock at you)

you're my greatest love & my greatest fear.

nothing will happen if i sit here & just wait.

but,what can i do ?

i'm helpless now.

good night.

i'll update tomorrow night.

if i have the energy to.

Sze Yong;dancing's my greatest happiness

(bang,bang)

2010-03-20T00:13:00.000+08:00

too late.

i hope i choke to death on my sorries too.

thanks for giving me another reason why i don't feel like i'm fit to be on this earth.

i know i'm at fault.

& if apologising can't help.

i've no idea what i've got to do.

none of that is my effort.

you can do as you deem fit,& don't put my name on the project if you don't want to.

afterall,true.

i didn't help at all.

no denying.

&,i'm guilty as charged.

no point arguing,no point fighting on.

i won't have anything to say.

i've angered you,the others & disappointed myself.

i won't be surprised nor shocked if you don't want to be a group next time.

i've disappointed you.

i can't apologise cause you don't & won't want to hear it.

can't thank you cause none of it is anything i've done.

you can take all the credit.

cause,NONE of it is anything i've done.

nothing left to say.

don't trust me anymore,i hardly trust myself.

2010-03-17T11:33:00.000+08:00

(peek-a-boo !)

hellos hellos

i'm back home !

actually,i was back home since..5 plus already.

quite a long day today.

longer than yesterday.

added in with frustrations & disappointments.minus some fun

aww :(

the day started off with naggings.

cause my mummy was nagging at me to get up from my bed,least i'll be late for school.

well,so i got up.

brother wasn't at home since he was still at UG camp.

mummy & daddy were already off for work.

so,used the com.

rushed to bathed & prepare to go to school after that.

arrived late,as usual.

went to workshop & started doing.

did the flooring.

glued & got burnt alot of times.

time flew & it was around noon.

waited for that person to break camp so he could come help us.

instead,he fly our aeroplane(direct translate to chinese).

disappoint us.

but,we could still cope without him !

glued the flooring & all.

got burnt a few times. :(:(

damn pain.

& we were so kiasu(typical singaporeans behaviour) that we went to paste alot alot of the sticks for the flooring.

pasted the..(suddenly forgot the name)

erm.erm.

i really forgot the name,so i'll make 1 up myself.

the support for the side.yep. :D

(i just remembered the name !its called BRACES)

pasted,pasted.

spammed alot of glue onto the building.LOL.

finished everything around 3 plus ?

blah blah blah.

had lunch at ljs with jaycelyn ~

talked abit.

& yea,took a lil' photos before that.

&,there's a reason why i'm covering my nose.

you'll know when you see me.

(dandelions give me hope)

& i hope for.

*whispers to myself*

my best friends are.

the reason for my smile.

so,i'll smile through & through

(:(:(:(:

love makes the world go..

round & round & round.

i love you

& friends,thanks for loving me.

even though you don't always say it

ending off with

i love this picture !

although my eyes are till barely opened.

but..the ribbon looks like a ring. :D

Sze Yong;you taught me how to cry